The First Blogiversary….

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I can’t believe how one year passed this quickly but slow at the same time.
A Lot had happened in this period, either in my own life or in the whole world.

It has been a whole year since I published my first blog post, and now this one is going to conclude this cycle of 12 months.

If you have been hanging around here, you’ll know I was disciplined about putting a post out every 5th of the new month, but in March I couldn’t do it, due to many things that happened in my life, after that I started my first series, which was little risky for my so worried self to hit publish to the first part, without being done from the second and the third.
I needed to trust I’m going to finish them, and I’m not going to change my mind midway.
So as you can see I come to face a lot of my fears.
But tbh, the fact that I’m almost anonymous and that I don’t have a lot of followers made it easier to be dealt with, but even though all this wasn't in my comfort zone.
Of course, the first publishing hit bottom was the scariest, but now I’m so happy I did it, so whether this blog comes out to be successful or not, I’m proud of how much it expanded me.
,,,

My biggest fear was to be revealed, but through this year I questioned this a lot, why I really hide my true identity, and it was hard to come to answer, battling the different points of view within me, but that taught me a lot about my own self.
Now I’m ok If one day I decided to make myself more obvious -initially I’m not saying I’m 100% ready, but in the past, I was 0%. 

 But despite all the benefits of the reveal, I’m finding myself being more real behind the name of The Outsider -a very common name by the way, so it’s not that ideal as a brand name, but it describes me so well - at least that's what I see at this point of my life.
Let’s get back to why I think I’m more myself under a not personal name, and that’s because here I can share the knowledge, the insights, and everything I used to hide from everyone-not so much now- for no logical reason-this happens by the way, doing illogical things, a lot!.
I’m fearing anyone who knows me will know what my interests are or anything personal about me -again for so illogical reasons.
,,,

Another thing I was so afraid of was the technical part of the blog, having no means to pay for someone from the region I live in, and having a great resistance towards getting help from someone I know, I got no way, but to use Google, and it’s so so so helpful. Now I am pretty confident I can handle problems and I’m ok with the unknown to a certain extent knowing that I can actually figure it out.
,,,

Let me count how many times I said to myself let’s stop this, "let’s just not add pressure to our already pressured life", "do my posts even matter?", "Are they even accurate?", "how many out there are doing better than you?", "look how there are no many interactions" ...etc, but I’m happy I didn’t listen to these voices, or either I won’t be writing this post right now.
,,,

Tbh I hate promises, I hate long-term promises to be precise, so I’m not going to say I’m gonna hang around forever or for a certain time, but to make a note, in this time of writing(29/6/2020 Monday 11:54) I’m not thinking of stopping, I’m not planning to have certain time again (although I never say never), and I’m not promising a rigid type of contents, I’m letting intuition lead me, but I’m not saying no to a little discipline.
,,,

Even though with all this, many times I come to look at the statistics and I’ll be so amazed if I don’t let myself compare my results with others, so whoever you’re hanging over here, know that just by this-which is a lot- you made someone on this earth happy.
Thank you so much for being around.



As always, love you.

And happy first blogiversary….

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